The average couple waits 6 years after discord begins before seeking help. The earlier you get therapy to change unhealthy patterns of behaviour, the more likely you will keep your relationship together in the long run. If you have waited a very long time, it is not too late to learn straightforward skills that strengthen relationships.
I am certified in Levels 1 & 2 of the Dr. Gottman method of relationship counselling. The Gottman Method is based on breakthrough research that began in the 70s and continues to this day. Their focus has been on scientifically validating what makes relationships succeed or fail. In their research, they were able to predict which couples would divorce with 94% accuracy, which is incredible forecasting!
This method of therapy is a "nuts and bolts" approach - it is practical, easy, and simple. You will be taught specific tools to deepen friendship and intimacy, help manage conflicts, appreciate your strengths and navigate your vulnerabilities.
The core result is that each partner learns how to listen and express themselves so that they feel deeply heard.
It is very natural to respond to each other in unhealthy ways. Getting to a point in your relationship where you need help does not necessarily mean the end is at hand. Because compatibility is more about learning how to respect each other than anything else, having an intimate, loving, stable relationship is possible if you both simply learn the skills and do the work.
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Dr. Gottman writes an engaging and straightforward guide about the most important things you can do to make your relationship strong, healthy and happy:
If you are having a baby be sure to read this book to fortify your marriage before going into a sleep deprived time of stress and joy: